Stuff
How to change the Transfer case Oil
http://www.diefer.de/i8kfan/index.html
Good Automotive How To Site
"Go here:
http://www.bedlib.org/
At the bottom of that page go here: (.)
Click on the Auto Repair Reference logo at the almost
top
User ID: auto
Password: mobile
Select Year
Select Manufacturer
Select Model
Have fun!"
How to Make Snow Ice Cream
- Fill a gallon size bag half full with snow or crushed ice.
- Add about 6 tablespoons of salt to the snow or ice. Seal the bag and mix for 5 minutes. Wear gloves when you're handling the bag.
- Use a quart size zipper-lock bag to mix the following
ingredients:
- 1/2 Cup Half & Half (or milk)
- 1 Tablespoon Sugar
- 1/2 Teaspoon Vanilla Extract
-
Seal tightly, allowing as little air to remain in the bag as possible. Too much air left inside may force the bag open during shaking. Place this bag inside the other quart size bag, again leaving as little air inside as possible and sealing well. By 'double-bagging', the risk of salt and ice leaking into the ice cream is minimized.
- Place the two bags inside the gallon size bag with the ice, and seal the bag. Wrap the bag in the towel or put your gloves on and shake and massage the bag, making sure the ice surrounds the cream mixture. Five to eight minutes is adequate time for the mixture to freeze into ice cream.
- Feel the consistency of the ice cream mixture through the bag. When it feels frozen enough to eat, remove the inner bags and rinse it well with water. You don't want any salt water accidentally getting into your ice cream.
- Pick up your spoon and eat the ice cream right out of the bag!
Funny
A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight
around, looking for valuables, and when he picked up a CD player to
place in his sack, a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark
saying, "Jesus is watching you."
He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze.
When he heard nothing more after a bit, he shook his head, promised
himself a vacation after the next big score, then clicked the light on
and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out
so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard, "Jesus is
watching you."
Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the
source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight
beam came to rest on a parrot.
"Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot. "Yep," the parrot
confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar
relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the
bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed... "What kind of people would name a
bird Moses?" "The kind of people that would name a Rottweiler Jesus."
40 Good Reasons for Gun Control
1. Banning guns works, which is why New York, DC, Detroit & Chicago
cops need guns.
2. Washington DC's low murder rate of 69 per 100,000 is due to strict
gun control, and Indianapolis' high murder rate of 9 per 100,000 is due
to the lack of gun control.
3. Statistics showing high murder rates justify gun control but
statistics showing increasing murder rates after gun control are "just
statistics."
4. The Brady Bill and the Assault Weapons Ban, both of which went into
effect in 1994 are responsible for the decrease in violent crime rates,
which have been declining since 1991.
5. We must get rid of guns because a deranged lunatic may go on a
shooting spree at any time and anyone who would own a gun out of fear of
such a lunatic is paranoid.
6. The more helpless you are the safer you are from criminals.
7. An intruder will be incapacitated by tear gas or oven spray, but if
shot with a .357 Magnum will get angry and kill you.
8. A woman raped and strangled is morally superior to a woman with a
smoking gun and a dead rapist at her feet.
9. When confronted by violent criminals, you should "put up no defense -
give them what they want, or run" (Handgun Control Inc. Chairman Pete
Shields, Guns Don't Die - People Do, 1981, p. 125).
10. The New England Journal of Medicine is filled with expert advice
about guns; just like Guns & Ammo has some excellent treatises on heart
surgery.
11. One should consult an automotive engineer for safer seat belts, a
civil engineer for a better bridge, a surgeon for internal medicine, a
computer programmer for hard drive problems, and Sarah Brady for
firearms expertise.
12. The 2nd Amendment, ratified in 1787, refers to the National Guard,
which was created 130 years later, in 1917.
13. The National Guard, federally funded, with bases on federal land,
using federally-owned weapons, vehicles, buildings and uniforms,
punishing trespassers under federal law, is a "state" militia.
14. These phrases: "right of the people peaceably to assemble," "right
of the people to be secure in their homes," "enumerations herein of
certain rights shall not be construed to disparage others retained by
the people," and "The powers not delegated herein are reserved to the
states respectively, and to the people" all refer to individuals, but
"the right of the people to keep and bear arms" refers to the state.
15. "The Constitution is strong and will never change." But we should
ban and seize all guns thereby violating the 2nd, 4th, and 5th
Amendments to that Constitution.
16. Rifles and handguns aren't necessary to national defense! Of course,
the army has hundreds of thousands of them.
17. Private citizens shouldn't have handguns, because they aren't
"military weapons'', but private citizens shouldn't have "assault
rifles'', because they are military weapons.
18. In spite of waiting periods, background checks, fingerprinting,
government forms, etc., guns today are too readily available, which is
responsible for recent school shootings. In the 1940's, 1950's and
1960's, anyone could buy guns at hardware stores, army surplus stores,
gas stations, variety stores, Sears mail order, no waiting, no
background check, no fingerprints, no government forms and there were no
school shootings.
19. The NRA's attempt to run a "don't touch" campaign about kids
handling guns is propaganda, but the anti-gun lobby's attempt to run a
"don't touch" campaign is responsible social activity.
20. Guns are so complex that special training is necessary to use them
properly, and so simple to use that they make murder easy.
21. A handgun, with up to 4 controls, is far too complex for the typical
adult to learn to use, as opposed to an automobile that only has 20.
22. Women are just as intelligent and capable as men but a woman with a
gun is "an accident waiting to happen" and gun makers' advertisements
aimed at women are "preying on their fears."
23. Ordinary people in the presence of guns turn into slaughtering
butchers but revert to normal when the weapon is removed.
24. Guns cause violence, which is why there are so many mass killings at
gun shows.
25. A majority of the population supports gun control, just like a
majority of the population supported owning slaves.
26. Any self-loading small arm can legitimately be considered to be a
"weapon of mass destruction" or an "assault weapon."
27. Most people can't be trusted, so we should have laws against guns,
which most people will abide by because they can be trusted.
28. The right of Internet pornographers to exist cannot be questioned
because it is constitutionally protected by the Bill of Rights, but the
use of handguns for self defense is not really protected by the Bill of
Rights.
29. Free speech entitles one to own newspapers, transmitters, computers,
and typewriters, but self- defense only justifies bare hands.
30. The ACLU is good because it uncompromisingly defends certain parts
of the Constitution, and the NRA is bad, because it defends other parts
of the Constitution.
31. Charlton Heston, a movie actor as president of the NRA is a cheap
lunatic who should be ignored, but Michael Douglas, a movie actor as a
representative of Handgun Control, Inc. is an ambassador for peace who
is entitled to an audience at the UN arms control summit.
32. Police operate with backup within groups, which is why they need
larger capacity pistol magazines than do "civilians" who must face
criminals alone and therefore need less ammunition.
33. We should ban "Saturday Night Specials" and other inexpensive guns
because it's not fair that poor people have access to guns too.
34. Police officers have some special Jedi-like mastery over handguns
that private citizens can never hope to obtain.
35. Private citizens don't need a gun for self- protection because the
police are there to protect them even though the Supreme Court says the
police are not responsible for their protection.
36. Citizens don't need to carry a gun for personal protection but
police chiefs, who are desk-bound administrators who work in a building
filled with cops, need a gun.
37. "Assault weapons" have no purpose other than to kill large numbers
of people. The police need assault weapons. You do not.
38. When Microsoft pressures its distributors to give Microsoft
preferential promotion, that's bad; but when the Federal government
pressures cities to buy guns only from Smith & Wesson, that's good.
39. Trigger locks do not interfere with the ability to use a gun for
defensive purposes, which is why you see police officers with one on
their duty weapon.
40. Handgun Control, Inc., says they want to "keep guns out of the wrong
hands." Guess what? You have the wrong hands.
How many Zeros on a Billion ?
This is too true to be funny.
The next time you hear a politician use the
word 'billion' in a casual manner, think about
whether you want the 'politicians' spending
YOUR tax money.
A billion is a difficult number to comprehend,
but one advertising agency did a good job of
putting that figure into some perspective in
one of it's releases.
A.
A billion seconds ago it was 1959.
B.
A billion minutes ago Jesus was alive.
C.
A billion hours ago our ancestors were
living in the Stone Age.
D.
A billion days ago no-one walked on the earth on two feet.
E.
A billion dollars ago was only
8 hours and 20 minutes,
at the rate our government
is spending it.
While this thought is still fresh in our brain...
let's take a look at New Orleans ..
It's amazing what you can learn with some simple division.
Louisiana Senator,
Mary Landrieu (D)
is presently asking Congress for
250 BILLION DOLLARS
to rebuild New Orleans . Interesting number...
what does it mean?
A.
Well... if you are one of the 484,674 residents of New Orleans
(every man, woman, and child)
you each get $516,528.
B.
Or... if you have one of the 188,251 homes in
New Orleans , your home gets $1,329,787.
C.
Or... if you are a family of four...
your family gets $2,066,012.
Washington, D. C
< HELLO! >
Are all your calculators broken??
Accounts Receivable Tax
Building Permit Tax
CDL License Tax
Cigarette Tax
Corporate Income Tax
Dog License Tax
Federal Income Tax
Federal Unemployment Tax (FUTA)
Fishing License Tax
Food License Tax
Fuel Permit Tax
Gasoline Tax
Hunting License Tax
Inheritance Tax
Inventory Tax
IRS Interest Charges (tax on top of tax)
IRS Penalties (tax on top of tax)
Liquor Tax
Luxury Tax
Marriage License Tax
Medicare Tax
Property Tax
Real Estate Tax
Service charge taxes
Social Security Tax
Road Usage Tax (Truckers)
Sales Taxes
Recreational Vehicle Tax
School Tax
State Income Tax
State Unemployment Tax (SUTA)
Telephone Federal Excise Tax
Telephone Federal Universal Service Fee Tax
Telephone Federal, State and Local Surcharge Tax
Telephone Minimum Usage Surcharge Tax
Telephone Recurring and Non-recurring Charges Tax
Telephone State and Local Tax
Telephone Usage Charge Tax
Utility Tax
Vehicle License Registration Tax
Vehicle Sales Tax
Watercraft Registration Tax
Well Permit Tax
Workers Compensation Tax
STILL THINK THIS IS FUNNY?
Not one of these taxes existed 100 years ago...
and our nation was the most prosperous in the world.
We had absolutely no national debt...
We had the largest middle class in the world...
and Mom stayed home to raise the kids.
What happened?
Can you spell 'politicians!'
And I still have to
press "1"
for English.
I hope this goes around the
USA
at least 100 times
What the heck happened?????
How to Make a Woman Happy
It is not difficult to make a woman happy....
A man only needs to be:
1. a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4.. a brother
5. a father
6. a master
7. a chef
8. an electrician
9. a carpenter
10. a plumber
11. a mechanic
12. a decorator
13. a stylist
14. a sexologist
15. a gynecologist
16. a psychologist
17. a pest exterminator
18. a psychiatrist
19. a healer
20. a good listener
21. an organizer
22. a good father
23. very clean
24. sympathetic
25. athletic
26. warm
27. attentive
28. gallant
29. intelligent
30. funny
31. creative
32. tender
33. strong
34. understanding
35. tolerant
36. prudent
37. ambitious
38. capable
39. courageous
40. determined!
41. true
42. dependable
43. passionate
44. compassionate
WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:
45. give her compliments regularly
46. love shopping
47. be honest
48. be very rich
49. not stress her out
50. not look at other girls
AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:
51. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
52. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
53. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes
IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:
54. Never to forget:
* birthdays
* anniversaries
* arrangements she makes
HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY
1. Show up topless
2. Bring Beer & Food